tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-202389962012-01-18T00:43:53.926-05:00Huck n PluckThe blog of a guy coasting by on good looks and a liberal arts degree. If you're looking in Ireland, Boston or San Francisco you're too late, now I'm making it happen back home in the big bad NYC.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.comBlogger8301100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-1504536597121681342011-11-10T11:36:00.001-05:002011-11-10T11:36:55.772-05:00
I wouldn't change the work, or the struggle, the Sisyphean tasks that drive through an endless connection of days, past furnace fear and unbridled joy, and to something deeper and infinitely more "normal;" the way we sit in an empty barn, trying to dry wet hay in the sun and then weave it into something resembling Structure and then sob quietly in the dark.
I wouldn't change the rejections, Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-59342790522054092272011-11-04T13:58:00.003-04:002011-11-04T13:58:46.654-04:00"And that's why I can't send you Christmas cards
It's why I had to keep you in the dark
Less big words and more exclamation marks
The little king is locked away (locked away!)
Swallow the key
He says he's alright, but not sorry
I'll tell you everything I saw (what do you see?)
A hundred and one
He says it's alright, but I know what I've done
And that's why I can't send you Christmas cards
It'sHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-10883773782901472922011-10-04T12:22:00.000-04:002011-10-04T12:23:20.351-04:00I'm sure your waves still lap gently on the shore, I just can't find anyone who can tell me if that's true anymore.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-16214045609567588442011-07-24T21:05:00.002-04:002011-07-24T21:10:26.984-04:00The camera is a mirror but never shows like you think you look, in the same way a message machine is a sad excuse for your actual voice. I'm cutting off the images, I cleared out my voicemail and I'm trading in the facts: that I'm here, that I'm doing things like I should have been doing them all along and that it's working.I'm still learning, only this time I'm actually listening.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-52358251131743895712011-03-29T10:07:00.003-04:002011-11-10T11:39:44.182-05:00"...leave me sitting pen in hand / With the smoke coming down above the housetops; / Doubtful, for a while / Not knowing what to feel or if I understand / Or whether wise or foolish, tardy or too soon…"
It's around Christmas and I'm drunk, walking out of a bar in New York and feeling a bit wistful when, upon realizing the length of my travels I called you. I suppose as many of our Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-70547719904421856452011-01-25T23:01:00.004-05:002011-10-04T12:35:13.914-04:00"Now pull it apart, fast." You said it, not me, talking of mountains of play-doh with technicolor connotations of scarred toys, charred remnants of the earliest of physics experiments, snaggletoothy aspects of "connecting." The words come out with a smile, consistent with, perhaps endemic to the newly undressed and perhaps apropos of anything or everything. (Unfortunately these colors are rarelyHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-17970100697197190282010-12-01T22:47:00.004-05:002011-10-04T12:36:56.883-04:00We play our way through the game carefully arranging letters into words but trying to remember this isn't a game of definitions but of words. The meaning matters little in comparison to the arrangement ("He proposed to his third fiance in the same town...")--perhaps this is not so unlike anything else--sitting idly, and perhaps a little drunk, pressing lidless eyes and waiting for a knock on theHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-69712150875141600012010-11-02T00:48:00.005-04:002010-11-02T01:22:15.786-04:00Well, I've got good news and bad news.The good news is that things are well over here and that I'm busy. Not busy enough with new things to be going crazy updates, or busy enough with things that I want to air out here but, busy enough.The bad news is this means not much writing.I broke 20,000 views on the blog (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) which is fantastic, and in honor of that I'll try to do Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-43739629345686849622010-10-19T01:04:00.000-04:002010-10-19T01:05:14.251-04:00"Go low, and stay close, or I'll tell your secrets."What an awesome day of recording.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-69709797375884794032010-10-01T15:46:00.002-04:002010-10-01T15:49:51.323-04:00Let's [editorial first person plural!] try something different, to break up the dark tone around these parts.Lean into me. Lean hard, and push, get on your tiptoes and put your hands on my chest and dig in, and lean, and push, lock your arms and lower your shoulder and lean, and push and then one last effort until we fall over, laughing on the ground and our toothy grins turn into the Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-78187933531344880782010-09-28T11:23:00.002-04:002011-10-04T12:38:05.643-04:00Crawling up a mountainside rocky and wet. The mud is caked fingernails, no time to be picked out because it's getting dark and I can still feel your breath on my neck, and I'm climbing, fast while rocks are coming out of the ground; my hands filled with ice water and it's arthritis by way of brisk air. I always forget my fucking gloves. I can see your shadow now and I know you're close and theHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-47088701284238938252010-09-18T17:48:00.001-04:002010-09-18T17:49:51.587-04:00I fixed the 10.9.10 post (below), read that again instead of looking for something new--it's left me a little bit spent mentally so not sure when I'm coming out of hiding again.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-54907035800238516552010-09-16T23:18:00.001-04:002010-09-16T23:20:01.632-04:00This daily contest has all the grace of a latex glove floating in a toiletHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-36243462046070109912010-09-10T12:07:00.008-04:002011-10-04T12:30:33.857-04:00Autumn on the Right Coast. It's been a long time coming. Days of pushing through pockets in dense fog, or in light rain, or in European chill--whatever. It's not just missing the beginning of school, that Pavlovian concept of new backpacks and gear coming with the change in leaves. The idea that it was time to dig in after a summer of listlessness and really grind it out. The time where Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-69529221525782008672010-09-07T00:25:00.002-04:002010-09-07T00:43:02.859-04:00No one has been listening from the start. We're all just a collage of fractured images of eyes, toothy smiles, nascent wrinkles and single words, strung together like a strand of pearls, irrespective of their source or time; the same words get such a different reaction now, don't they? I can't keep track of my role, just let me know how I can be of service today. Are you rebelling against my Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-10859526877522484532010-09-04T10:06:00.001-04:002010-09-04T10:38:54.845-04:00At first, the young juggler struggles. You pick up two objects and try to focus completely on both of them. What happens as a result is obvious, as the objects, most likely balls (is this for east of availability? lack of damaging aspects?), fall. One hits the ground or both, but regardless, the juggler fails.Go to the carnival and see the clowns, see the professional juggling 13 flaming Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-1646516061509321812010-09-02T15:18:00.003-04:002010-09-02T15:20:29.708-04:00I don't really post my songs here but I've been working all week on this recording and after listening to the track 1000000000000000 times as a result, I figured I'd post the lyrics:No FlowersI smile when it hits me hardAt least I know it’s realThere’s something there to feelBut will I laugh when we come apart?An ending too true to be fairI hope you’re blissfully unawareBut I’m sure you knew it Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-62138445941186289592010-08-30T23:35:00.002-04:002010-08-30T23:42:35.007-04:00Under my bed there is a shoebox, and in that shoebox there is an incredible tangle of cables. I have tried my best, numerous times, with varying methods to sort them. I have used velcro and rubber bands, I have spun them and tied them. Invariably they end up a pit of snakes, a tangle of black, slightly sticky due to the floors they have swept over time.These connections are impossibly Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-31177899235654232042010-08-27T01:38:00.004-04:002010-08-27T16:17:29.135-04:00Then I interrupted "No, you don't get it. It's only when I write it that it starts to make any sense at all. It's like speaking into the mirror: it's not about the nonsensical words or mantra, it's about maintaining eye contact with the one person you need to be able to. It's about feeling like I'm one step further down the road from the last time I checked the map. It's about being able to Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-48325396476477918452010-08-24T11:33:00.003-04:002010-08-24T17:40:54.276-04:00Some writers sit hunched over a typewriter, elucidating the dusty corners of the suburban sink until the words are evicted, carefully extracted like an archeologist's dig from a well worn spot on a couch or from a La-Z-Boy, thoughts stolen and culled from sounds of a hammer bouncing off of 50 houses as it sends home the last 500 nails of someone's American Dream.Others dig deep within the sordid Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-75890044058376780822010-08-13T13:40:00.000-04:002010-08-13T13:41:00.076-04:00I am absolutely addicted to the new Ok Go record."In the shallowest part of the night while you quietly slept,I lay here and I counted the hours to the sound of your breath.Can't you love me?Can't you love me how I want, please?I went walking down on Second Street through the leaves and the clutter.In the pale yellow sodium light, nothing has any color.Can't you love me?Can't you love me how I Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-24633249977881010512010-08-08T23:50:00.006-04:002011-10-04T12:33:24.897-04:00Inside the house, the windows are closed. In some room music is playing and the sound of TV's on different floors competes and disorients. One second products are sold, the next a single shout "You did NOT just..." and the next "...one more time, a three run shot from..." and yet, if you let yourself be still for even a second there's a louder sound at play.
[It's not the sound of Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-13227641724348242172010-07-26T19:33:00.002-04:002010-07-26T19:34:56.550-04:00Just had a great idea to describe someone stingy, not sure where to use it yet:"He's the kind of guy who would ask a stripper for change."Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-52323275927572944632010-07-20T23:07:00.003-04:002010-07-23T14:07:53.286-04:00It starts as an idea.It's the stranger's shadow, their shape defined but actuality just outside of the scope of vision. There's a feeling there--you can't be watched by someone you can't see can you?--but it's fleeting, and slow, seeping like ketchup in the jar. It becomes something more. The shadow has no color so you add some. The brush strokes are broad, but specific enough. The shape hasHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-53799230941611567692010-07-19T12:52:00.001-04:002010-07-19T12:54:22.318-04:00This is either one of the awesomest or saddest things I've seen in a long time.If nothing else though it provides a new metaphor for solitude: "I feel like an antarctic penguin walking the streets of Japan." ha!Pet Penguin in JapanHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-59407647821812057652010-07-19T11:09:00.002-04:002010-07-19T11:12:57.466-04:00And that same careless resentment and fading color that I so desperately despise, how many times have a propagated it on the backs of those less willing to emotionally digress into a world of ease? How many times in my utilitarian-by-way-of-fetching-happiness M.O. did I put my sunglasses on and walk away, smiling, content not to look anywhere but forward? And how many of them had to be added upHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-53016915003209845282010-07-16T20:17:00.003-04:002010-07-16T20:20:41.830-04:00One of my favorite songs ever, "Outside of the Aviary" the leading track off of "Mission: Control" by "Burning Airlines"(N.B. not in reference to anything)"Now clarity lost out to desire,I married the madness in her eyes;a ceremony with a serried edge is the price to fly in a cage of wire.Displaying the scars where my hands were tied,from martyr to sinner in record time,while she took the Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-69495209739002733842010-07-12T21:32:00.002-04:002010-07-12T21:32:52.083-04:00Yes, I added a totally arbitrary background.Deal, or if you find it totally unreadable, just tell me, or email me, and I'll change it.I needed a change.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-14649403151210270252010-07-12T14:25:00.004-04:002010-07-12T23:36:48.997-04:00"I'm not your shrink."You spit it at me. My affection, the ghost of what I was to you coats you like some aerosol spray, unnatural, cheap, manufactured, synthetic. Some of it gets in your mouth and catches on to a feeling, a sentiment you've holstered, perhaps for years, lingering in whatever organ in your dead insides stores your sense of resentment. The feeling races past all safety Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-29786883713372760772010-07-11T23:27:00.002-04:002010-07-11T23:36:57.387-04:00A single hand, wearing no jewelry, waves goodbye.How long until the gleam is too much to bear?Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-81331583118059294102010-07-07T00:03:00.001-04:002010-07-07T00:04:33.534-04:00"But no no, you're too important now, to listen to any of my songs...don't you think I know that?"Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-19403024263927138642010-07-05T22:28:00.002-04:002010-07-05T22:36:17.458-04:00The zombie picks up its parts. This undead thing, my oft bumbling past, is dragged out of its shallow grave on parade and hacked into easily digestible parts in a character assassination that has become ritual. Words spoken too frequently to bear any meaning or correllation to reality are broken out of their safety glass and carelessly tossed about as concerns over a 21 year old are levied Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-6412818359601789402010-07-05T22:14:00.003-04:002010-07-05T22:22:43.100-04:00False starts, car alarms, dried spittle at the corner of your mouth, riding roughshod, spatula flipped pieces of meat, cooked.Bellows and rattles, lumbering fractions of limitless extent, limber, calloused, well loved and well used, hooked.Poised, tensing, breathing, releasing, cramping up and remaining, on call, vibrating with a lifetime of historical inaccuracies, baited.High pressure systems Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-35808478429821165832010-07-03T23:48:00.003-04:002010-07-05T22:23:55.401-04:00Hey, don't turn it off now. Seriously, sometimes, I get it, you want to shut the party down, pull a George and leave on a high note. Sometimes the party needs to get killed so that (1) we can all go to the bar and get silly there, away from my house so there's less cleaning or throwing up or whatever or (2) because when you're too drunk to handle your own party you should shut it down but thereHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-41880814126194232282010-07-01T23:26:00.003-04:002010-09-17T15:54:42.937-04:00Awkward stabs come through the phone, bits and pieces of each other, written word sorted through a colander to pick out the gems, and you create a collage of his image. It's not a shrine, it's a portrait (there's a big difference), and it tries to be fair like a college newspaper tries to be fair--there's only so much by way of resources to research the topic, but an assignment is just that. Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-63965131720182976742010-06-29T12:05:00.002-04:002010-06-29T12:24:01.032-04:00It's mostly the way that you say it, the way it rushes out with equal parts gentle chiding and exasperation. Your head cocks to the side and you look with a knowing smile, content to express everything that could possibly emote from a vowel sound "Oh" and my name (or rather, the name by which I have always been known). Your look is the one that an adult gives a cactus--the object amusing and Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-91463732795282954312010-06-21T01:20:00.002-04:002010-06-21T01:23:26.975-04:00This blog always surprises me (current stats below). I guess I just never think about anyone reading it, I just assume people will do so if they so desire and regardless I'll keep writing. It was a lot easier to make sense of people reading it when I was posting about living abroad or other assorted times but I guess people prefer my half-assed rambling stream-of-consciousness poeti-prose, if Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-14324917158636352452010-06-21T00:48:00.002-04:002010-06-21T01:15:38.890-04:00So much bluster, so many important words attached to images with no meaning, photos that came with the frame, too busy to replace them and too small to cut out. A talking, bubbling self-help book with a laugh track, keenly placed at key moments to veil something more sinister, something insidious and crude and oily, fingers sticking with black sludge, slick and smooth traded in for lumpy and Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-22348536927699236742010-06-14T01:00:00.002-04:002010-06-14T01:28:08.172-04:00He's got his hooks in you, and that's fair. I've seen this movie enough times to recognize the setting, the climax, the denouement and the ending credits, but on set the actors aren't quick to share trailers and with good reason--acting together and being together just aren't compatible; in the meantime my copy of the script has been lost again ($35 for a new copy I'm told) and I wasn't reading Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08150220351366918310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-58140300446277107462010-06-07T13:44:00.003-04:002010-06-07T14:10:04.789-04:00And there you are, right on the brink of dropping the bomb, it sits on your tongue like an old "Atomic Fireball" from when you were too young to know what getting hurt really was and the pain was pleasure--(should I spit it out? Can I keep handling the heat? It tastes good but it's too much... Can I hold on? Can I swallow it? Should I bite it now?)--the feeling smells and tastes of urgency and Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-64522944324293420482010-04-20T16:05:00.002-04:002010-04-20T16:23:17.932-04:00Saying something aloud doesn't make it more true.Sometimes you see a movie or read a story or see some Lifetime network show that seems to suggest that when someone says something, or perhaps just even mouths the words, that the world for them changes; there is some psychic connection of What Is and What Could Be (as opposed to What Should Never Be) and that gap is summarily breached by the very Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-43587560926216619812010-04-11T00:08:00.005-04:002010-04-20T16:05:55.216-04:00And there it is, the point at which you realize that there are, like, 6000000 songs you could write at this very second, seriously, but there's all of 3 that you actually won't positively hate within minutes, and--if you're lucky--1 that doesn't make you want to leap off of the nearest precipice while mixing it [aside: ever notice how they take into account if people committed suicide or if they Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-53015404406140105732010-03-29T14:49:00.003-04:002010-03-29T15:20:11.803-04:00--Indulge Me--...and you sit there among babbling groups, speaking in tongues while he reads you some awkwardly paced undergraduate poetry--the kind with a penchant for stolen fragments from greater minds, perhaps as simple as emphasizing the "ed" in learned for better scansion (claiming it's Beckett-esque scansion though naturally, because in modern times it's easier to do something badly and Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-12206924838909018772010-03-10T19:05:00.006-05:002010-03-10T19:21:12.027-05:00Live blog!Big East Basketball Tournament!Seton Hall v Notre DameAs you may know, I grew up in row 13 section 108 at Brendan Byrne aka Continental Airlines Arena watching Seton Hall as the myriad awesome players (and a few cute cheerleaders) filled the ranks. I went to the Final Four when Eric "Big Country" Montross was on UNC. It began my deep undying love for college basketball. Honestly, Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-56413476955103777082010-03-10T17:41:00.006-05:002010-03-11T12:24:02.857-05:00Someone who came up in conversation recently is one of the parties below, and it's too funny and strange to not recount:I'm at an off-campus party standing with old Bronx fellows Joe and Mark. We're standing on the front porch of the second floor--more a sun porch, enjoying the fading glimmers of a night that has been great--if not spectacular. Beneath us there's a young lad, freshman, say, in Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-18916932033516993412009-06-24T16:23:00.002-04:002009-06-24T16:25:59.657-04:00Had a game in the Google ultimate league at lunchtime today, the other team's captain: Martin Cochran. He's a total rockstar in the ultimate world and of course has his Ph.D. in crypto so he works here now. Great game--I had one turnover, 3 assists and a goal (involved in 4 of our 7 goals) but we lost 9-7 due to time cap.Now I'm eating lunch: lamb, braised carrots w/dates, spinach and roasted Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-77740250426699925122009-04-20T13:45:00.000-04:002009-04-20T13:46:02.964-04:00whoa!!! robot penguin!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5JHMpLIqO4Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-23053663677185987572009-04-20T13:34:00.003-04:002009-04-20T13:36:15.211-04:00On my keyboa_d the one between "E" and "T" is b_oken, as you can see. So__y.At the one minute ma_k this gets g_eat:Old school compute mix of Bohemian _hapsodyHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-46653088586738202282009-04-20T12:36:00.000-04:002009-04-20T12:38:38.987-04:00Kobe wins series in one dunkWatch it a few times, it was wildHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-90631184117893988602009-03-03T21:54:00.001-05:002009-03-03T21:55:20.469-05:00I want to know what the promotion was this night at the New Jersey Nets game?Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-79311614254749747662009-02-26T15:30:00.002-05:002009-02-26T15:34:01.653-05:00OK, I have an idea that needs to be fleshed out, but bear with me.First of all the facts:-Mayor Menino (Boston) can't speak with unintelligibly mumbling. Check out a video of him, it's epic.-Mayor Menino also has impressive jowls-When one gets their wisdom teeth out, they also have large jowls due to swelling-When one gets their wisdom teeth out, they also mumble incoherently.THUS!It is my Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-56955867718357145202009-02-24T02:18:00.000-05:002009-02-24T02:19:01.601-05:00First of all, why aren't you reading:johnandjack.wordpress.comSecond I get my wisdom teeth out tomorrow.Third, thank you Jena for this: http://isitsunnyinphiladelphia.com/Awesome.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-74359789536735035732009-02-16T13:18:00.002-05:002009-02-16T13:19:44.705-05:00Saw this band randomly and they were WEIRD but they were pretty awesome: transparent guitars, nonsensical interludes, full body Spiderman costumes.Yow.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-75511109123860682402009-02-16T13:14:00.002-05:002009-02-16T13:14:57.211-05:00If I could have any 5 people in my posse, Shaq is one of them, no question.Shaq dances with maskIncredible. 15 time all star doing a dance performance?Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-90311124407716847522009-02-11T21:03:00.000-05:002009-02-11T21:04:18.800-05:00Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-22203745242805536392009-02-11T16:39:00.003-05:002009-02-11T16:40:58.889-05:00Cali residents are worried that the release of inmates may drop safety in the state.A dude gets shot and killed by a BART police officer for no reason, I get run over by a police officer on a motorcycle while riding my bike, and people are worried about inmates?Yeah, call me crazy, I think we're going to be ok.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-51704341889647342232009-02-11T15:29:00.002-05:002009-02-11T15:39:03.749-05:00Where do you look for answers?It seems like life, on the whole, should be a series of decisions in which someone learns from experience. Maybe you learn from mistakes, or successes or whatever. But what happens when you're encountered with a situation you've never come across? What happens when that which you thought you understood turns out to be incredibly complicated? What happens when youHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-4260447240320189172009-02-11T15:26:00.003-05:002009-02-11T15:27:24.532-05:00I've been watching Nip/Tuck, and I have to say I've never seen a show that had so many moments that incite a physical reaction. At one point in last weeks episode something happens that resulted in me still having tightness in my chest. Maybe it's because I'm sensitive about my hands (work on a computer, play music, etc...) but good lord that was so intense.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-29446731153074294272009-02-11T12:49:00.000-05:002009-02-11T12:50:14.347-05:00After watching MIA go all Juno on stage at the Grammy's, I fear I will never see her the same way. Does this make me a bad person?Also, "A Milli" is a sweet song. But is it the best rap song this year? Yikes.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-58948227837404050222009-02-04T22:03:00.000-05:002009-02-04T22:04:25.832-05:00Check it John and JackHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-77680130022273354472009-02-04T16:46:00.002-05:002009-02-04T16:49:53.943-05:00When you open hotmail you get these stupid stories about anything from jobs to fashion to relationships, and it always has the most OBVIOUS ADVICE EVER but I invariably click it. Example, 6 resume deal breakers:-misspellings-forgetting the employer you're writing to-lying-using blanket terms instead of specifics-other such bs suggestion-you've never gotten a job if you've done anything this far Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-79732530158110734192009-02-04T13:05:00.002-05:002009-02-04T13:08:48.965-05:00OK, I watched the new movie "Taken" last night and I have some thoughts:First of all, this movie has more killing the The Transporter. It's at times hilarious, but mostly just purely awesome entertainment. There are points in the movie (I don't want to spoil anything) where things happen that will literally crack your motuh open and incite the dropping of jaws.One thing though: wouldn't you be Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-85744933315406232972009-02-04T12:48:00.002-05:002009-02-04T13:00:26.433-05:00Ever since I was a kid I wanted an Armadillo to have as a pet. Both fun and functional.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-47036265047294418262009-02-04T12:32:00.000-05:002009-02-04T12:33:07.329-05:00PBR: the coffin.Wowsers.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-78634240365324807642009-02-04T12:30:00.000-05:002009-02-04T12:31:10.906-05:00I've said it 1 million times before, here's 1 million and 1, LeBron is a horrendous shooter outside the paint. You can tell me as many times as you want that this fact doesn't matter, but it's going to matter. It's going to come out like Memphis' terrible free throw shooting (something I saw through last year) and they will lose as a result. End of story.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-78328486696868523062009-02-04T12:28:00.001-05:002009-02-04T12:29:27.023-05:00Did anyone else feel like the Superbowl was totally fixed? There's NO WAY that was a fumble at the end of the game and a few of the other calls (roughing... the holder?!) were insane.I had no vested interest but I feel like I would've been insanely pissed if I were a Cardinals fan.Thoughts?Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-54070898306751843302009-02-04T12:24:00.002-05:002009-02-04T12:28:09.925-05:00I've taken to applying for focus groups and stuff in SF, taking interviews for research groups, taking tests for focus groups, etc... On one hand it's pretty hilarious and if you manage to get chosen you can get some $, on the other hand, as a white Irish guy between 18-35 my demographic is generally pretty full. Sigh.In any event, good albeit strange times lately. First of all the weather is Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-83091528129539880552009-02-02T16:01:00.002-05:002009-02-02T16:15:32.888-05:00So, I bought the Sony Ericsson TM 506 (like here but in green) and T got the Samsung Blast. We also signed up for T-Mobile, which made the most sense. This way, each of us get the "my-faves" 5 thingy in which you select the 5 people you talk to most and those calls are free, then there's additional random crap after that. You may remember this plan from the commercials with Charles Barkley andHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-9614120428675220062009-01-29T15:59:00.001-05:002009-01-29T16:01:39.125-05:00I'm trying to buy a phone today. Out of these phones, which should I grab?I'm partial to the Ruby Pearl or the flip Pearl... but really anything goes.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-47458586865161031172009-01-28T17:07:00.002-05:002009-01-28T17:13:10.384-05:00Greatest ten bands ever1. The Beatles(just bought their complete scores, piano, voice, guitar etc... to suggest that the Eagles or the Stones were a better band is a downright crime, seriously. You can put them lower in the 10 because you feel they're overexposed or because you don't want to be so predictable but you're just wrong. No band made the leaps, both musically and technically that Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-91258129938929483372009-01-28T17:06:00.000-05:002009-01-28T17:07:18.594-05:00I'm unemployed!Check back in soon, updates are going to come down like rain from the blog heavens.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-23514518331851965682009-01-15T12:58:00.001-05:002009-01-15T12:58:47.435-05:00Uh-oh... awaiting some news... we'll see what happens...Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-78677713254920378682009-01-14T17:13:00.001-05:002009-01-14T17:14:46.553-05:00If this doesn't make you want stab people I don't know what will:This is actually culled from a NYT article."Shortly after Scott lost his job, the couple replaced their full-time nanny with a more cost-effective au pair and began choosing long-weekend getaways instead of weeklong family vacations. Some expenses, though, haven’t changed: they still shell out for membership at a local country club Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-9707208476494462912009-01-10T02:18:00.001-05:002009-01-10T02:18:45.769-05:00Are my methods unsound?Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-204880026118857472009-01-06T19:25:00.001-05:002009-01-06T19:26:20.039-05:00Job changes, life changes, what more can I say?Last night a kid asked me what my favorite records of the year were and I could barely think of a single record I listened to that came out this year and I liked. What happened?! Last year I was writing a Top 10 list for the year (and still faked 3-4 of them), two years ago I could've named 20. I guess I'm just becoming the old guy, eh?Ugh.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-73328886223061604502008-12-31T13:27:00.000-05:002008-12-31T13:28:09.787-05:00fantastic badass basketball story.Gotta love Chris PaulHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-90984063960439247462008-12-31T13:12:00.002-05:002008-12-31T13:15:32.202-05:00Great part of a song from an otherwise weird album"We'll keep you alive cause you're pretty, and we need something to look at whilewe tear you up, take what you love, and burn it down, burn it downyou swear to build, we swear to come, and burn it down, burn it down."Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-61225313284232250332008-12-20T03:41:00.002-05:002008-12-20T03:43:10.005-05:00Sorry I'm dropping the ball. I'll be home the next week, hopefully that will be better.In the meantime, lookup "terry tate office linebacker" on youtube for guaranteed laughs and ridiculousness. Just did it today as a throwback, awesome.Happy holidays folks.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-28894905539930869062008-12-12T18:04:00.001-05:002008-12-12T18:04:51.833-05:00AWESOME!!!!!Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-34500913999267573732008-12-11T15:14:00.001-05:002008-12-11T15:14:15.861-05:00I love ballers:Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-74988637899581930822008-12-10T18:22:00.002-05:002008-12-10T18:34:52.756-05:00People ask me what I want for Christmas and I tell them that I don't want anything. Well, that's not true. Here's what I want for Christmas:-To not feel like I'm going to be the victim of terrorism every time I see a suspicious package or a huge group of people-To have a lawyer that will take my case-If not, to be able to afford a lawyer-To have this exhausting lawsuit worked out and off my Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-46599357898103092572008-12-08T17:03:00.000-05:002008-12-08T17:04:03.475-05:00In honor of my parents coming to Cali for the first time for Thanksgiving: a California mixtape, not ordered or linked yet because I'm busy:From California - The New AmsterdamsThe Californian - Sunday's BestCalifornia - Phantom Planet (Mates of State cover)California One Youth and Beauty Brigade - The DecembristsCalifornia Dreamin' - The Mamas and the PapasCalifornication - Red Hot Chili Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-49896728177685463382008-12-01T23:36:00.002-05:002008-12-01T23:38:49.560-05:00As you know, I prefer brunettes.But that being said: girls, please stop dying your hair dark if you have a natural lighter color (blondes, particularly). For many of you, it's too dark for your pale complexion and it just looks super harsh.I promise us guys will still like you with your natural color, in fact, if you look less like a vampire it may make us like you more.I know, crazy. But true.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-56279897369464149452008-12-01T13:49:00.001-05:002008-12-01T13:50:26.022-05:00If only this had happened a few years ago... sigh.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-89580018281847259402008-11-24T19:00:00.002-05:002008-11-24T19:02:18.108-05:00In trying to look for a place for an amigo, I've something somewhat disconcerting. Hey real estate hocking asshats, a studio and a 1 bedroom apartment ARE NOT THE SAME THING! If I look at another "reasonably priced" 1 bdrm to find out that it's a studio, some annoying agent is going to get shanked. Sheesh.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-71329890368095809342008-11-24T13:47:00.001-05:002008-11-24T13:47:32.965-05:00Ummmm... wowZoybar... incredible!Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-47096508789458512412008-11-24T11:23:00.003-05:002008-11-24T11:37:07.493-05:00Honors:Congrats to T, placed in semis at her first Jack and Jill (randomly chosen partners) competition at the SF Salsa Congress (the most competitive one around, natch). Word on the street is she could've made finals if her partner had been better(!). Ah to date a professional dancer... glorious. She'll reward herself by eating some Kara's cupcakes (that I'll most likely have to buy) and Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-86211589196696703112008-11-21T12:28:00.001-05:002008-11-21T12:29:55.344-05:00Outpatient shoulder surgery + anesthesiology, before insurance...Any guesses?$42,000.Yup, you read that right, $42,000.Wow.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-85847452066704337402008-11-20T17:14:00.002-05:002008-11-20T17:21:41.541-05:00Forget Steinbrenner, this is heartbreaking:Moose calls it a career" Only 20 other pitchers in major-league history have finished 100 or more games over .500. Sixteen are in the Hall of Fame, and the other four — Roger Clemens, Pedro Martinez, Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine — are not yet eligible. Only five pitchers in history have as many victories as Mussina (270) with a higher winning Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-35685672697945379302008-11-20T17:09:00.001-05:002008-11-20T17:09:45.983-05:00" The Yankees regained their former glory under his ownership, winning six World Series titles and 10 American League pennants from 1976-2003. They also have transformed themselves into a billion-dollar business that owns a cable television network and food concession company. But the 78-year-old has been in declining health following fainting spells that required hospitalization in December Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-73054734593294292772008-11-20T13:52:00.001-05:002008-11-20T13:54:01.572-05:00Last night Minus the Bear and Annuals @ Bimbo's was a great show.However, I learned a valuable lesson: if you take a big vicodin for your shoulder pain, you shouldn't take the bus to the show. I completely forgot where I was going about halfway through and got off the bus quite far from where I was supposed to be. Eventually I got back on the bus and made it, but it took over an hour to make itHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-88814922092874402262008-11-17T16:14:00.003-05:002008-11-17T16:15:58.272-05:00winners of the week:-Two DUIs... in 6 hours... before 4pm.-Getting so drunk at the Strip Club that you steal someone else's car and leave your own in the parking lot... and have no idea when the cop pulls you over.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-41451206841333495502008-11-17T14:13:00.002-05:002008-11-17T14:16:41.767-05:00Where have previous presidents been from?Bushes: TexasClinton: ArkansasFord: NebraskaCarter: GeorgiaReagan: Illinois (the hick part)FINALLY! A president who's from a place I would visit or consider a place where I could agree with policy decisions. I'm so sick of this southern/small town crap. Obama is from Chicago: a real city with real urban issues. This might be my favorite part about him.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-5599472991559398892008-11-17T13:48:00.002-05:002008-11-17T13:51:55.534-05:00My friend Joel asked me to write for his new e-news humor thingy. He asked that I adopt the persona of someone giving parenting tips in the vicinity of the parents and kids. It's ultracynical but I enjoyed writing it, let's see where it goes.Tip #1, from you waiter:I know what you're thinking, why don't we have a nice night out at the local pub/restaurant. We'll bring along our lovely childrenHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-26004656952421322572008-11-04T01:33:00.000-05:002008-11-04T01:34:24.556-05:00McCain supporters? I think so.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-87132245766188432442008-11-03T13:32:00.002-05:002008-11-03T13:38:46.543-05:00"Do you know why I would shoot a free-throw with my eyes closed? It's not to show off... ok, sometimes it is. It's because the hoop is still 15 feet away, still 10 feet off the ground. Either you believe it or you don't, it's that simple." *closes eyes, makes shot*Michael Jordan, still the greatest.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-50010700861492445752008-11-02T15:27:00.001-05:002008-11-02T15:28:27.945-05:00I finally figured out that it's my anti-inflammatory, not the vicodin, that causes the awful nausea/cobwebs for 3-4 hours each morning. A valuable discovery, no doubt.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-40137677473171480182008-11-01T02:28:00.003-04:002008-11-02T15:27:09.581-05:00You know where to find me.Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-88314037232780377132008-10-29T21:56:00.002-04:002008-10-29T22:02:08.752-04:00Just had shoulder surgery, life is insane, lots of pain right now, friends coming through for me, T still gone but I'm gonna see what I can do there.No worries about any of the previous crap. Jung would say "we are every age we've ever been" and I won't say he's wrong, but I've done too much growing up to go back languishing and lushing about, time to focus on the important things. Here goes Handyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20238996.post-22056348231009220722008-10-27T12:22:00.001-04:002008-10-27T12:23:43.787-04:00unrelated but funny:B: he runs away from the ballJ: there are three types of people:those who run to the ballthose who run awayand those who pick their noses and look at the birds while standing in the goalB: i guess i was more "run to the ball without intending to kick it"hahaHandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365253665726707239noreply@blogger.com0